Thursday, 29 November 2012

Perjumpaan dengan kawan masa kanak-kanak.


Assalamualaikum.

Do you remember your childhood friends? The friends whom used to play with you all day long until your mother started screaming asking you to go home?

HAHA. I got lots of them.

We live nearby (as we are all neighbours) and we still greet each other every time we meet! But the best part is we are like siblings! We know each other’s parents, greet them, and we take care of each other's siblings.

Tonight we threw out a gathering for us. We ate, talked, laughed, and took photos. It was fun. I had fun. I know I had fun because I keep talking about it and I can’t stop laughing remembering every bits of our conversation!

We were all down to our memory lane from 1996 till 2001!

It was fun, seriously. One of my best memories is having them as my best friends.

Wednesday, 21 November 2012

Komen negatif itu bukan kritik.

Assalamualaikum.

Kadang-kadang kita rasa sangat sakit bila soalan atau kata-kata atau impian kita mendapat komen negative yang langsung tak membina.

Skeptikal. Mangli. Muntah.


Baik aku buat benda yang menggembirakan hati sendiri.
Ini bukan kerja orang bosan, ini kerja orang yang cuba lari dan masuk ke dalam dunia yang cuma ada dia sendiri.

Komen negatif dengan kritik tu tak sama kan? Komen negative menjatuhkan, kritik tu membina. Tapi terpulang pada penerima jugak kan? Huh.

Tuesday, 20 November 2012

Cuti 4 bulan. Cerpen.


Assalamualaikum.

Cuti 4 bulan sekarang dah tinggal 3 bulan.

Dan dalam waktu 3 bulan ni aku nak habiskan baca buku-buku yang aku beli waktu praktikal. Ya, buku-buku memang elok dibeli dan dibaca, tapi kalau silap percaturan boleh menyebabkan duit melayang sebab luggage lebih muatan bila nak naik kapal terbang. Oh ya, aku cakap pasal diri sendiri.

Aku suka cerpen. Entah kenapa kurang suka novel yang ambil masa berhari-hari untuk habiskan. Setakat ini masa tercepat yang aku ambil adalah 2 minggu. 143 karya Pingu Toha dan Quartet karya Saidatul Saffaa yang aku bagitau dalam post INI. Dua-dua novel ini aku gerenti tak rugi dimiliki dan tak rugi dibaca.

Sambung pasal cerpen, aku ada 2 antologi cerpen yang berkisar tentang Palestin. Satu dibeli tahun 2008 tajuknya Lelaki dari Shatilla dan satu lagi dibeli tahun 2010 kat Pesta Buku PWTC, Biarkan Aku Jadi Orang Palestin. Walaupun aku dah habis baca kedua-duanya, tapi aku dah lupa kebanyakan cerita. Jadi aku nak ulang baca.

Moga-moga aku dapat idea nak tulis cerpen tentang Palestine juga. Tapi sekarang aku nak tidur dulu. Moga-moga idea datang mengetuk di alam mimpi.

 Buat masa ini, ibu dah sihat. Semoga ibu tak sakit lagi. J

Monday, 19 November 2012

Adik.

Assalamualaikum.

Hari ibu sakit aku nampak adik tadah tangan, mulut adik kumat-kamit. Waktu tidur aku tanya adik ‘tadi akak nampak adik doa, adik doa apa?’

Adik cakap ‘adik doa untuk ibu. Tak boleh bagitau orang kita doa apa nanti tak makbul.’

Aku cakap, ‘tak boleh bagitau kat orang yang kita doakan je.’ *puas jugak aku pujuk adik supaya adik bagitau.

Adik cakap, ‘oh eh?’ adik bisik kat telinga ‘adik baca al-fatihah, kulluwallahuahad, kul azubirobbinas, kul ‘azubirrobilfalaq pastu adik mintak Allah sembuhkan ibu, adik mintak Allah ampunkan dosa-dosa ibu.’

Adik. T__T

Thursday, 15 November 2012

Make du'a for GAZA.


Bismillahirrohmanirrohim.

Assalamualaikum.

Gaza. Mereka tidak perlu simpati. Mereka perlu DOA.

http://www.aljazeera.com/indepth/inpictures/2012/11/20121111152558908105.html

Ibu.


Assalamualaikum.

Ini entri buat ibu. Ibu yang penat seharian bekerja, menjadi suri rumah sepenuh masa. Untuk ibu yang prihatin, sentiasa memberi perhatian, tanpa mengharap apa-apa balasan.

Ibu, Noor sayang ibu. Noor mohon, ibu jangan sakit-sakit ya. Betul cakap ibu, kalau ibu sakit, satu rumah akan sakit. Ibu orang kuat keluarga. Ibu kuat. Ayah pun cakap ibu kuat. Ibu jarang melatah. Setiap ujian menimpa ibu tempuh dengan sabar.

Malam ni tiba-tiba ibu sakit. Ibu nangis. Kami semua mati kutu, ibu. Kami tak tahu nak buat apa. Ayah cakap nak bawak ibu pegi klinik, tapi ibu cakap tak payah. Ayah nak panggil makcik yang pandai urut tu datang, tapi ibu tak kasi. Sudahnya, kami bertiga yang urut ibu. Kaki, tangan.

Aku tengok adik, aku nampak adik nangis. Aku tak boleh nangis sama. Sebab ayah tak nangis. Aku taknak biar ayah kuat sorang-sorang. Tapi aku tengok mata ayah ada cahaya, mesti air mata ayah bergenang.

Ibu dah terbiasa tak ngadu dengan orang. Aku tau ibu sakit kat dalam. Aku tau banyak yang ibu pendam.
Ya ALLAH.. Tahun ini dah sangat susah untuk ibu, hamba tahu Engkau takkan uji ibu tak sesuai dengan kemampuan ibu. Tapi hamba mohon, walau apapun, Engkau jangan biar ibu sendiri. Kami sayang ibu.

Aku sangat kagum dengan adik. Umur baru 8 tahun tapi dah pandai berdikari, betullah, adik dah matang sebelum usia.

Adik cakap, “malam ni adik taknak tidur, adik nak jaga ibu.”

Adikkkkk… T______T

Ibu terlalu banyak memberi perhatian dan kasih sayang, sampaikan kita terlupa yang ibu juga manusia yang perlu perhatian lebih, kan?

p/s: Mohon doa untuk ibu.
Nanti bila ada masa terluang akan lawat kawan-kawan blogger, insyaAllah.

Sunday, 11 November 2012

Am I in serious trouble?

Bismillahirrohmanirrohim.
Assalamualaikum.


So yes my practicum ended weeks ago. And yes I have activated my Facebook account because my students had been pleading. So I guess whom am I running away from actually? Why can’t I have Facebook account to connect with my students? So rather than being a runaway kind of person, I decided to activate my account. Considering he won’t be bother looking for me after all.

So these past few days I have been stalking my friends’ Facebooks to get updates from them. Some of them are in a relationship, some have been engaged, and some even got married and expecting babies! I know, I know, I missed a lot. In order to strengthen myself, I lost something. I even forgot two of my best friends’ birthdays! Lucky they understand me.

So I’ve decided no more hiding in my own country.

And as I stalked, I come to realize that my all my friends uploaded their photos with their students. They even mention them taught at that school and missing their students a lot and yada yada yada. So I was like ‘am I cruel for not uploading photos and updating statuses about how I miss my students?’

Am I a jerk?

Have I become a jerk?

Even during our last day I hardly shed any tears. As they kept saying they won’t forget me and they want me to always remember them, I constantly reminded myself that all of these are just temporary feelings. They’ll soon forget me and I would be just another sweet memories they have without even bother asking how am I doing and do I miss teaching them. People come and go. That’s what I have set in mind. And one student asked about my flight and I told him that I almost cry because I almost miss the flight because my luggage was overweight! And he said “you cry because of that yet you never cry for your students?”

That was the understatement of the universe. I actually cried a bit. But I think all of you didn’t hear it when I say, thank you for curing my broken heart because all of you were busy eating at the farewell party. I cried a bit and went out from the class. And that’s it. I’m afraid that my tears have dried during my grieving over something stupid I have done. But never mind about that.

Remember Flounder? Well, he signed up on tumblr for me. But now he doesn’t even bother updating anything like he used to. He was so passionate at first that he wanted to write his journal entries there for me to read. I’ve expected everything. I knew the day that all-of-them-will-forget me will come so I wanted to be prepared from the very beginning. I don’t want to take anything so personal so that I would feel less hurt when they do forget me, one day.

There are few students who like to send me text messages. I have been waiting for the day that they will finally stop SMS-ing and some of them finally did! But still, I’m so touched with students whom even buy new number so that it’ll be lot cheaper SMS-ing with me. But note that I don’t like receiving text messages from boy students whom I found out have feeling for me! They are 14 and I’m 23! What were they thinking?

Students whom had always been so ‘oh I’ll sure miss you a lot teacher’, ‘I’ll call you whenever I’m free’, ‘I miss you already’ are all now gone. Nothing. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Whenever I feel like texting them, I kept reminding myself that don’t bother looking for persons who have forgotten you.
I don’t post pictures with them because I’m afraid that people might think I’m already a teacher and then people would be asking my mom whether or not I have become  a teacher. So to avoid such question, I avoid raising such idea. And why wouldn’t I upload presents from my students is because I don’t want to boast. I think it is enough for me to keep their presents safe and use them properly that even if they see me 10 years from now I can still show them the presents they gave me. That’s how I’ve planned on how to appreciate their presents.

About me not posting about me missing them so much is because I’m not yet a teacher, and missing my students would be raising such idea which will definitely leads to question ‘is she already really a teacher?’. You know kampung-folks. But yes, I do miss them! I do recall back all the memories before going to bed. But do I have to announce that on Facebook? I think that is so unnecessary. Not that I’m condemning my friends who posted that, it’s just for me I feel that it is too cheesy and I wouldn’t do that. If you consider me a cruel heartless teacher just for that, then go ahead judge me. We all have our own opinions.

Does missing require announcement? I think it would be enough if I place them in my prayer every day. I'm also actually quite afraid of saying I miss you or I miss you too.

I don’t know why I am not showing any of my affection anymore. Am I afraid of getting extremely attach to anybody regardless of whom they are?

If that so, I think I’m in serious trouble.

HELP?

Friday, 9 November 2012

Diarrhea. Adik dan cerita hantu.

Bismillahirrohmanirrohim.

Assalamualaikum.

Okey dah lama sangat biarkan blog bersawang. Kalau blog macam rumah dah beribu-ribu kot labah-labah, lebah, anai-anai, semut buat sarang kat blog ni.

Malam ni tidur agak lewat sebab aku kena diarrhea (wah bagi term nak good-good padahal boleh je cakap cirit-birit dan muntah-muntah tapi nampak agak gross). Jadinya, perut dan kepala rasa sangat tak selesa.

Oh, ha. Tadi pun aku tengok movie dengan adik. Konon nak tengok movie hantu yang seram-seram sikit. Tapi adik nak tengok hantu lucu, nak forever Hantu Kak Limah mana boleh, akak dah bosan laaaa.. =.=

Pastu tutup lampu, suruh adik duduk dekat sikit sebab kononnya nak tengok hantu seram. Adik siap warning cakap “adik tengok tak banyak tau. adik tengok sambil tutup mata.” aku pun tarik kerusi kat dapur (dengan harapan esok ibu jangan risau sangat kerusi kat meja makan hilang satu sebab ada kat bilik anak dara ibu ni hah) dan letak cekodok pisang dengan air milo dan air mineral atas kerusi.

Tengah sedap-sedap tengok movie tetiba aku dah tak dengar suara adik. Aku tengok sebelah Ya Allah, budak ni dah terlelap bila entah! Grr =.=

p/s: Umur adik 8 tahun dan kitorang tak jadi tengok hantu seram sebab aku takut malam-malam kang adik ngigau nangis-nangis. Bukan sebab aku takut.
Oh untuk kak Dinas, rasa daging landak macam rasa daging biasa je. Macam ayam sikit kot. :)
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