Thursday, 8 May 2014

My love life status.

Bismillah.

Assalamualaikum.

Bhahaha! Tajuk boleh bikin orang muntah tujuh hari tak makan nasi. Oh well, sekarang ni zaman kontroversi kan. Apa nak heran.

I would like to confess something. Something that is rather common to whom age is like me. 25. I am 25, and jobless. Well, yes I do have a job. But it’s not a steady. You see, I studied for four years hoping that after I graduated, I will work as a teacher. I’ve always want to be a teacher. My application to teachers’ training college was rejected because my not so impressive SPM result. So I pursued my study in form six so that I can take STPM and enter UPSI. Wow that was a very long winded explanation. It’s not that I am not grateful with what I have now and not that I do not appreciate my current job. But let’s face it. Let’s be practical. We live in mad times now. Very mad that everyone expects for raise. So I am sorry I want to be posted as soon as possible. I am sorry if I have to disagree when people have this opinion that we ISMP should look for another job while waiting rather than just wining and doing nothing.

Well, we are not actually wining. We are fighting for what we deserve. We have studied for four years, just to hold this ‘IJAZAH SARJANA MUDA PENDIDIKAN’ in our specific field. For you to hope us to be patient as long as we can, doing jobs that are not in line with our expectation and effort is very unfair. We are not being choosy. A mechanical engineering student that has been told about a position in a very big company with a handsome wage, will he just sit back and relax when he is not called in a year? How does make him feel?

To add salt in my injury, I am the eldest in my family. Being the eldest has its own bits and pieces you know. By now, I expected that I already have my own car, can already pay for my younger siblings’ fee, oh how I have so much in mind. Being 25 and jobless makes me feel useless. Now that’s and easy way to put it.

Oh. My love life? HAHA. With this so many in my mind, how can it be occupied with love life and marriage? Sometimes I envy others who can easily think about marriage as if it was a very easy thing to be involved in.


Oh well.

Sunday, 4 May 2014

Unstable BMI dilemma.

Bismillah.

Assalamualaikum.

Okay. So I have told you that I would share what had happened to me since I graduated for almost a year now. I am now a happy PASTI teacher to 24 students. I would say that I am a happy mom to be exact. HAHA. There is this one time I got so angry that I asked my students “Who do you think I am that you are being so rude to me?! Do you think I am your mother?” (Well, actually I do think of myself as their mother. But sometimes they just get on my nerve and I think the actions are not suitable acted in school, to teachers. That’s why I told you before teaching these children need loads of patient!) The students innocently answer “Yes.” And my heart melted. Yargh.

Moving on. When I was a student, my weight rage is about 56 to 58. But now, I just checked few days ago, I am 65 kg! Not less than that! Nyaaa -.- what happen to me?

I suppose most people would say that is nothing to be surprised because staying at home does need a lot of courage to overcome the temptation to eat more and more.

Seriously and frankly speaking, when I am at my hometown, I don’t prefer eating at any stall. I don’t like this ‘masakan panas’. I love ‘nasi campur’. And the best ‘nasi campur’ is homemade cook by my mother.

Furthermore, my family has this love-to-eat attitude. We usually watch TV together at night. So, when we watch TV, we cannot let our mouth rest. We usually want to chew on something. Then we’ll fry anything we can find in the kitchen. Eating late at night has become one of my habits since like forever.

I don’t really care being fat because I have been very skinny since I was little girl and people around me keep asking whether I am sick or not due to my skinniness. (Even one of my best friends used to say this “I think the only time I will see you grow some fat is when you are married.”) It’s the unstable BMI that bothers me a lot! I don’t like being unhealthy. So yes, I am going to lessen the food I eat. Maybe no food at night at all and I am going to jog maybe once in a week and do sit up every morning. HAHA. That’s my goal. I am going to lose those 5 kgs!

I think this is a dilemma faced by many people like me. Having to stay at home and eat mother’s cook. Wow I made it sound as if it is a bad thing. No. Eating mother’s cook is the best feeling, but every good thing in world comes with its own price. So yeah. I gain pounds.

Must work hard to lose fat to stay in nice shape and stay healthy.


Till then, fihifzillah everyone. Let us live healthy life together! 

Saturday, 3 May 2014

Wedding invitations drive me crazy!

Bismillah.

Assalamualaikum.

Wedding invitations. School’s holiday is approaching. Hence, lots of people will be having wedding ceremony. Be it in Sabah, Sarawak, or peninsular of Malaysia. Wedding, wedding, everywhere! I am 25. So, I think it is normal for people like me to nervously wreck when I get invitations. Especially from people who are younger than me. Bohoo!

Why you may ask I say wedding invitations drive me crazy? Well, sometimes getting those invitations make me think like, “They are settling down, when is my turn?” or, “Does God forget to put me in the list of people whom are going to get married in this world?” and, “Wow they are getting so much love due to their upcoming marriage. They must be joining usrah here and there. Oh, only good people are going to get married.” Now you see, I’m a bit immature when I over think. This is why Allah prevents us from thinking about His decree. Eventually, we will usually end up questioning Him.

I am lucky because people around me do not bother pressuring me about marriage. They don’t go “You must get married before you turn 25!” or “Get married before the GST is launched!” Nay. Maybe they still see me as a little girl, having no ability to handle a marriage. Well, I guess they are partly right. HAHA. However, I cannot deny the fact that sometimes, I too wish to be happily married. It’s human’s nature! I would be abnormal if I don’t have that feeling~!

But the thing is, I am not ready. I know that I am not ready because I get easily bored being with the same person doing the same things everyday (except my family of course). I still don’t know how to cook without referring to a recipe book (sometimes my cook still taste weird even though I refer to a recipe), I refuse to get up early on holiday, I have issue with my temper, I still haven’t travel alone (wish list), I still don’t have a permanent job, oh, oh, I still don’t have my own car! (I’ll sure need this in case I get bored with my husband), and many more uncountable reasons restricting me from getting married like everybody else, now. I am NOT ready. Hence, I must bear in mind that no matter how wacko I will turn every time I get wedding invitations, I cannot be desperately asking for any bachelor to marry me.

Sometimes, getting all those invitations also makes me think “Am I not pretty?”, “Am I not good?” You see, there are some people around me keep saying that good people marry and die early. Heh. So... Me, getting married late, not wanted by anyone, is it a sign that I am not a good person? Does this kind of thinking drive you crazy sometimes?

Hm. I say, things like this should be handed to Allah and Allah solely. He has His own planning and our only job is to pray for the best and have faith in Him.

Getting wedding invitations is hard you know. I have to refrain myself from doing and thinking something stupid. Haiye. Have faith Noor. Marriage is not the centre of the universe! You’ll have plenty of time building dreamy wife’s characters in you. And who knows death may ring earlier than marriage. I think, preparing for death is as same as preparing for marriage. Both prepare you to be someone better. Well, unless you want to be in hell in both situations.


Anyone feel the same? I know that I am not alone. Air hugs!
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